The Squishy Orange

This page details the tragic story of Jacob and his Squishy Orange. Last names have been redacted for confidentiality.

01/26/2022

8:13 AM: It was a regular day today during Computer Maintenance. Mr. Chamberlain was in a good mood, whilst everyone else was finishing up their labs for the day. It was a Wednesday, so we were all expecting the day to be short and uneventful... we were wrong.

8:21 AM: Labs continue to be worked on with lots of side conversations between everybody.

8:26 AM: Jacob [Redacted] pulls an orange out of his backpack. The orange was old, thus you were able to easily poke at it. Because of this, Jacob dubbed it "The Squishy Orange". Our friend Vanessa [Redacted], always asks my friends and I if we have food, which we always respond to her with no. However today was different, we actually had food for her. After calling her name, we offered her the orange, which in turn she expressed disappointment and rejected the orange.

8:29 AM: Jacob proceeds to poke at the orange repeatedly.

8:31 AM: Kaden [Redacted] gets a bright idea. Kaden for whatever reason, tells Jacob to bring the orange up to his ear. Jacob misinterprets this and puts it up to his eye. Jacob being Jacob, pokes the squishy orange once more, causing a gush of juice to shoot out right into his eyeball. In response to this, Jacob bends over and yells in agony, alerting the whole class.

8:32 AM: Mr. Chamberlain casually walks over and asks Jacob what had happened. With Jacob in pain, and my friends and I laughing hysterically, we were unable to properly explain for a few seconds. After quickly explaining what had happened, Mr. Chamberlain laughs at Jacob, asks him if he needs to go to the restroom, and walks away claiming "only you would do that". Jacob respectfully declines his offer, and does not go to the restroom.

8:35 AM: Jacob, unable to handle the pain, proceeds to ask Mr. Chamberlain if he can head to the restroom. Jacob leaves the classroom without the Among Us bathroom pass, as he does not want to appear "sus".

8:36 AM: My friends and I recount what had happened and proceed to laugh again.

8:38 AM: Jacob returns from the restroom.

8:41 AM: Mr. Chamberlain comes back to our table, and gives Jacob his new nickname because of the incident. Dubbing Jacob as "Freshly Squeezed".

8:43 AM: Operations on classwork resume as normal.

8:51 AM: Class ends.

01/27/2022

8:01 AM: This wiki page is created.

8:23 AM: My friends and I await for Jacob to arrive.

8:24 AM: Jacob walks into the classroom.

8:25 AM: Class begins.

8:26 AM: Jacob is called by his new nickname and is shown the wiki.

8:27 AM: Work on labs from the previous day continues.

9:15 AM: Class ends.

Moral of the Story

- Don't keep old and squishy oranges in your backpack. Just throw them away if you aren't gonna eat them.

Notes

• To this day, Jacob is still referred to as Freshly Squeezed.
• Originally Jacob's nickname given by Mr. Chamberlain was "Orange Slice", but then Mr. Chamberlain thought of "Freshly Squeezed", which sounded better.
• This wiki was created in response to the incident, so that it could be documented and remembered forever.
• The orange utilized in Jacob's downfall was thrown into the trash, never to be seen again.
• Jacob does not wish to be seen by the security guards holding the Among Us bathroom pass.